Did your mind start racing a thousand miles a minute when you found out you or your partner was pregnant? You're not alone.
It can be shocking, surprising, devastating, or, for some, the best news you've heard all year.
Perspective is a powerful tool. I want to help you work through how to make an empowered choice by considering multiple perspectives about an unexpected pregnancy.
Our minds can race to the negative parts of any situation. We're wired that way, and fear plays a significant role.
For an unplanned pregnancy, many men and women are overwhelmed with fear when they hear the news.
For women, some of the fears we often hear are, What if I have a baby and...
My boyfriend leaves me.
I have to quit my job.
My parents kick me out.
I can't go to school or finish my degree.
I don't have enough money to raise a child.
I don't want to raise a child with him.
For men, the fears are a bit different. What if...
I'm still deciding whether to commit to this relationship?
I don't have what it takes to be a good dad?
I can't provide financially for a baby?
These are valid fears, and it's essential to work through them, not just to ask them.
Someone once said to play out your biggest fear and see where it takes you. Humans are remarkable in this way—most of us would find the strength to endure and keep going. While fear creates valid what-ifs to work through, we're wired with another powerful tool: love.
Consider working through all the possible effects of an unexpected pregnancy, including how it could positively impact your life.
Let me throw some what-ifs at you that fall under our other driving emotion of love.
What if I have a baby and...
I experience a bond and relationship I haven't shared with anyone else?
I get to share life with someone in a unique way?
I rock at being a mom and show my baby what true love looks like?
My parents are supportive and want to be part of my and my baby's life?
My boyfriend steps up and becomes the man he is meant to be?
For men, What if...
I get the opportunity to fight for a good life for someone I love?
I can make a difference in my girlfriend's and my baby's lives?
I show what a good dad can be, even if I didn't have one?
Choosing to have a baby is a big responsibility, but it can also be one of the best experiences of love a person can have.
Babies not only bring cries, poopy diapers, and around-the-clock needs. They also bring joy, love, and wonder.
People stop and smile at babies because they make happiness well up in us. They are a gift, and decisions about them should be made with great care, understanding, and the proper dose of perspective.