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Real Conversations: I Chose to Be a Mom

Something real. That's what we want you to experience through this series of conversations with women who have chosen adoption, abortion, or parenting. Women like you who found themselves facing an unexpected pregnancy. Women who weren't sure what to do when they saw those two pink lines. Women who wanted to make a good decision and went through difficult things to do what they felt was the best decision at the time.

These stories are real, raw, and honest. There was no persuasion or coercion, just questions & listening.

These stories will help you see some of the realities as you decide.

The following conversation is with a woman who almost chose abortion but, in the end, chose to be a mom.

How old were you when you found out you were pregnant?

I was 25. My son was almost two.

How did you feel when you found out you were pregnant?

I cried a lot. I kept taking tests, begging not to be pregnant. I begged God for a miscarriage. The dad and I weren't together, but we were sleeping together. After I took the test, I thought I was a big letdown to my family. I immediately called my mom, but I felt like I'd betrayed my dad. I didn't want to tell him, but I knew I would.

Did you consider abortion at any point?

I looked into how much the pill cost, called Planned Parenthood, looked at the procedure and the costs, and even told the baby's dad I was going to have an abortion. I was trying to convince myself not to have feelings. I was trying to pretend like it wasn't a life. I was looking at it like getting a tooth pulled. I told my dad I was getting an abortion. I was going to get the pill, do it at home, and it would just be gone. I wouldn't have a baby anymore, and I'd continue with my life. I watched YouTube videos from women who had taken the abortion pill. Their stories were terrible as they talked about how horrible it was—how they bled for weeks and weeks, and it wasn't like a period at all. It was weird though because I knew I could never do it. Everything in me said, "You know you can't do this."

What were your reasons for wanting an abortion?

I felt like a burden to my family. My parents were already supporting my first child and me. I felt like a loser because I didn't have a job. I felt like a loser because of who the dad was. I felt alone. I just wanted to pretend it wouldn't happen.

People don't think about moms who already have kids wanting an abortion. I felt like I was betraying my firstborn. He wasn't even two yet, and I knew a lot of my attention would now have to go to a baby. I felt like I would be a horrible mom to my son if I had another baby.

Did you have a support system around you? What did that look like?

My family was incredibly supportive. Everything I have is from them.

I went to a place like Resource Health, and the lady I talked to reminded me about my support system.

Why did you choose to parent your baby?

I knew that for the rest of my life, I would wonder, "What if..." I knew I would never be the same if I had an abortion. Seeing other moms with two kids, thinking about his birthday, wondering what if my son loved having a sibling.

What was the hardest thing about choosing to parent?

I felt like I was just starting to get a life again with my son being a little older. I had started work again and had some more independence. The thought of starting over and having a newborn was hard to imagine. Also, knowing I would be without the dad stepping up has been challenging.

What helped you work through those difficult times?

The truth is, I didn't even like kids. I didn't want kids, but I knew I could do it because I had done it before. When I had kids, my life ended, but it also started. I had to give so much to my kids, but having them in my life was a gift. Moms don't realize how awesome they are. We're strong and don't get the recognition we deserve, which can sometimes be hard. Until someone has to be, they don't realize how strong they are.

What would you tell a woman today who is experiencing an unplanned pregnancy?

You can do it. I never kept a job, went to rehab, had a drinking problem, and never changed a diaper. I was the person you would think could never do it, and I'm a great mom. The love you'll have for your children is indescribable. It's like someone took your heart out of your chest and put it in front of you. You're holding your entire reason to live. There are hard days and weeks and months, but there are also beautiful days and weeks and months. Moments you wish you could relive a million times over again with your child. It's worth it. Going through pregnancy, birth, and the struggles—it's worth it. When I lay my head down at night after daycare and taking care of a baby… it's worth it.


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